Turning 30 and Owning Your Desires | Austin Outdoor Boudoir Photography

This past Novmeber I turned 30. Pretty much the 12 months leading up to that day were filled with anxiety. What have I accomplished? What am I doing with my life? Shouldn't I be doing MORE? Shouldn't I be making more? What does 30 supposed to look like? I can tell you what it looks like for me so far! It looks like opportunity. It looks like clarity. It looks like power. It looks like a movement I want to lead with women in today's society, to say fuck you to the standards of beauty, busyness, what it looks like to be a woman today. 

I had a meeting on Monday and someone asked me, "So your goal for outdoor boudoir is empowerment?" 

I stumbled on my words, "No. I mean yes. I do, but I don't like that word. I like that word in a sense. The word empowerment seems so feminist. Empowerment is an effect of what my basic goal is. I want outdoor boudoir to be about getting back to the basics - to get back to the breath of who you are. Like yoga. You are always coming back to the breath, the basics. From there you find empowerment, beauty, and love".

My true desire is to create a movement to make women feel it is okay to be unplugged. If you live life more unplugged and get back to your breath, to the basics, you begin to do things with more intent and to be more present. And in outdoor boudoir, we do just that! We are back in nature, back to the basics, back to the breath of life. From there you feel more empowered, more beauty, more self-love. 

Below was my own exercise of self-love and getting back to the basics. Jennifer Ilene photographed these beautiful images of me, involving animals. Involving animals, especially exotic ones, added another level of being present and awareness. You had to work with the animal, you had to be aware of your own feelings and what you are putting off externally. They sense it. You HAVE to be present and aware of your breath. At first I was anxious over the humidity and how it affected my hair and makeup, but once I realized that wasn't what was important here. THIS was an experience. THIS was an adventure. THIS was an opportunity to be fully present in the act at hand - calming this little monkey. Make him feel comfortable to be with me.